Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fixing a Broken Relationship with Intelligence and Humor

It’s easier to fix a broken relationship with intelligence and humor than with insistence on remembering the past, and concentrating on sad feelings.

You have to be intelligent and stop complaining or doing things that annoy your partner. Be nice, friendly, and understanding.

Use your sense of humor to put an end to what could be transformed into a fight. Make funny observations, smile and laugh, as if nothing had ever happened between you two, or as if what happened was only a lesson.

Don’t talk about past mistakes, with the intention to remind the person you love how much you were hurt because of what they did against you. They will feel that you don’t trust them, and remember many other things that influenced them at that time, concluding that you are only thinking about yourself, without trying to understand how they feel about what had happened, especially if they did something very wrong.

You won’t help them be better by reminding them how cruel they were to you in the past. Remember that you are fixing a broken relationship; you are not in a court attacking a criminal.

Behave as if you believe that they have understood how wrong they were, and stop thinking about what made you suffer.

Begin your relationship again as if this was your first beginning, without previous experiences and traumas.

If you were the one who did something that hurt your partner, be very nice now, and give them constant proofs of your love and loyalty by doing what they like, the way they like; let them choose everything (for eg. where you should go, what to buy for a gift, where to put this thing or the other, etc), and always agree with them.

Show them that you want to make them feel wonderful near you, because you care about their feelings, and you know that you owe them something (because they have forgiven you).

If you are nice, caring and loyal, everything will be fine, and soon what happened in the past will be completely forgotten.

Be positive, and try doing something different everyday. Don’t enter again into the old routine.

Put your intelligence and your humor into practice! Change a few things in your life, do something special, make jokes out of daily experiences, find a way to make things look different now, even if only by changing insignificant details.

Give to your partner the feeling that this is a magical new beginning, and that your relationship will be much better now that you both are so mature, after really understanding that you indispensably need one the other.

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