Monday, September 21, 2009

How to Put an End to a Relationship

If you have a relationship with someone but you are tired of it, while the other person insists on keeping you near them because they love you (or they believe they do, while your opinion about this matter is totally different), you are in a very difficult position.

The other person wants you, and they try to hold you no matter what, while you feel suffocated. Perhaps you have found someone else, or you would like very much to have the chance to meet other people and find the right person for you, but you have an obligation to care about the person with whom you have a relationship, without being able to do what is better for you and your life.

When you have a relationship with someone, you are not free at all. Your life is connected to the other person’s life, and you have to get rid of all the links that connect you if you want to be independent and follow a different path. This is not easy, especially if your relationship is too old. Not to mention if you have children…

In case you are not married and you don’t have children yet, things are not so tragic for you, but still, quite complicated, because many times a relationship without marriage is as strong as a marriage. If you are with the other person everyday, if you do a billion things together, they depend on you and you depend on them in many points, you are practically married.

And these days sex is part of the teen’s life, which means that today’s relationships are not as distant as they used to be in the past.

This means that you cannot simply tell them: “I want to put an end to our relationship”.

You have to think about their feelings. Perhaps this separation will mean the end of the world for them… If they really love you very much, they won’t accept it.

What can you do?

You have to be cautious, especially because the other person may provoke you too many problems if they won’t accept this separation, and they could do many things to bother you, and ruin your plans.

If you don’t feel well with this relationship there is no real meaning on insisting on it. If you are not married yet, don’t think twice: get rid of it before you come to the point of getting married to the wrong person!

In case you are married and you have children, you have to sacrifice your life for your family. Unfortunately, you have the moral obligation to care more for the happiness of your children than for your own.

However, you must not die… If you are feeling too suffocated, your children will understand that you cannot bear your existence this way, and forgive you. You have to be always near them, besides getting a divorce. If you are always a good mother or father, your divorce won’t hurt your children.

Now, how can you finally get rid of this relationship?

Prepare the other person first of all. Don’t tell them suddenly that you want to be alone. If you have found someone else, you don’t need to mention it, of course… This would hurt and humiliate them very much.

Tell them that you are not feeling good, that you are very depressed, and you don’t know what to do about this matter.

Let them try to help you, and tolerate your relationship for a while.

Then, tell them that you are feeling worse. Tell them that perhaps you need psychotherapy, or a trip somewhere else far away, because you are feeling suffocated with all your obligations, your life has no motivation, and you are feeling totally empty.

When they ask you if they don’t mean anything to you, you’ll have the chance to tell them that you are not feeling supported by them, because they cannot understand you, they don’t really care for your feelings, and you’ve been hurt by their behavior on many occasions. Tell them that you don’t feel that they really care about your happiness, but only about their own interests.

Blame them for the depression you are feeling, putting yourself in the position of a victim.

Let them tell you by themselves that perhaps it would be better for you if you try to solve your emotional problems alone, without them, since you’ll show them that their presence is not helping you in any way, because you feel alone besides having a relationship.

You won’t be lying, because you will explain to them the emptiness you feel. Of course, this may be not their fault. Perhaps you made the mistake of trying to attract them in the beginning, but you were wrong.

In any case, think that you have to act like a cautious doctor, and leave this person without killing them. This is why you have to be diplomatic, and you may need to exaggerate certain points, or to pretend many things, until you are able to make them accept to let you follow your own path, without trying to keep you near them.








Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.


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